


secrets I have held in my heart are harder to hide than I thought (maybe i wanna be yours)

by poignanced



Category: Brooklyn Nine-Nine (TV)
Genre: Angst and Fluff, F/M, Just a lot of drabbles, a lot of teasing, and humor of course, and it has quite a lot of fluff, but also angst maybe, childish and distracting rivalry obviously, fluff central, some established relationship, some pre-relationship, there's going to be some pining, this is my first proper fic!
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-07-18
Updated: 2018-08-19
Packaged: 2019-06-12 16:33:10
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 3
Words: 3,647
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15343920
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/poignanced/pseuds/poignanced
Summary: Over the years, Jake and Amy have arrested a lot of perps together. And a lot of those perps just happen to think they'd be kind of cute together.(or, times perps figured jake and amy out before either of them got the chance to.)





	1. case #43-47E: Peralta Nearly Strangles A Publicly Indecent Perp

“ _Damn_ , that girl has a nice ass. What’s she in here for?”

It’s a Thursday night, and Jake is processing a serial public urinator. It’s times like these when Jake understands the true ridiculousness and somewhat grossness of his job. 

Jake scrunches up his face in disgust, his focus still on the paperwork. “I know you peed in eight water fountains tonight so this request might be too difficult for you to follow, but don’t be gross, man.”

“No, but seriously. Check it out.” The perp insists. Jake looks up, only to shut the perp up, but finds himself doing a double take. He takes in a tiny gulp of air. It’s an objectively nice butt, not that he’s checking it out or anything.  _Really_. He’s not that sleazy. He wouldn’t have even  _noticed_  the butt had it not been for his icky and relentless perp. 

“That’s Detective Santiago.” He finally says, slightly startled as Amy turns around and gives him a nod when she finds Jake staring at her, perhaps a little too hard. 

“Ah, you got a bit of an unrequited thing going on there, huh?” The perp smirks, waggling his eyebrows suggestively. “No worries, I’ll back off.” 

“ _Whaaaaaat?_  No. What? No. What?”

“That was very convincing.” 

“We’re colleagues, acquaintances at best -” Jake chooses not to divulge that they’ve recently been edging into friend territory. He almost smiles, thinking back to their text conversation last night about the  _Property_ _Brothers_ they had both coincidentally DVRed for a post-stakeout detox _._ He tries his best to control his face, something he’s never been super good at doing, refusing to give the perp the satisfaction. 

Something about the perp’s face tells him that he didn’t quite succeed at burying the smile. 

“Well, good luck with that.” The perp says, as two beat cops come over to usher him away. “Nice talking to you, Detective. Catch you later.”

“ _Not_  nice talking to you, perp I will probably never talk to again!” Jake calls after him.  _Hah_. Last word. 

“What was up with that?” Jake visibly leaps at the sound of Santiago’s voice behind him. As he turns to address her, he feels his stomach tilt slightly.  _Oh, fuck._

“What? Nothing. That was nothing. Why, did you hear something weird and not at all true?”

“Well, your voice is about seven octaves higher than the human voice should ever be, so.” Amy notes, her eyebrows knitted together in half-concern, half-confusion. It’s cute. 

 _Fuck_. 

“Whaaaaaaat? No!” His voice seems to have hit a new level of squeaky. It’s fine. It’s cool. He’s fine. He’s cool.

“Geez, alright, just checking in, you weirdo.” Amy shakes her head and walks away. Jake has to gather all of the strength within himself to stop himself from watching. 

“No, you’re the weird one!” He calls after her, sensing a hint of deja vu from calling after the perp in the same manner. “I think I handled that pretty well,” He reflects. 

“No, you most certainly did not,” Rosa says from behind him, causing Jake to visibly leap for the second time in the last two minutes.

Jake squirms while making a strangled noise. “Can people start wearing bells around their necks or something? And maybe stop eavesdropping on my conversations?  _God_ , Rosa!”

Jake stomps away angrily, and Rosa watches him with a smirk. “Man, he is so fucked.”


	2. case #298-3j: Peralta and Santiago Catch an Art Thief

It’s a Friday night, and Detectives Peralta and Santiago find themselves in a patrol car with a perp handcuffed in the backseat. Jake’s at the wheel, singing along (poorly) to some Taylor Swift song on the radio; Amy’s long since given up on trying to get him to stop. They’re also in a bit of closed road blockade, the traffic so thick it renders driving practically useless. There’s been this lingering kind of a weird energy between him and Amy ever since she revealed that she used to like him on the way back from the road trip (the thought of which still drives Jake into mild insanity, more than he would verbally admit to anyone). Luckily, their perp seems to be chatty for someone who was just arrested for a pretty major white-collar crime.

“So, what’s the deal here?” She says, gesticulating between Jake and Amy.

Before Jake can open his mouth, Amy immediately says, “Nothing. Why would anything be happening here?” The quickness in her denial makes him a little queasy, but he swallows the thought and decides to channel his energy into teasing Amy. Things will never be too awkward for him not to tease Amy.

Jake starts, “Well, actually, if you need to know -“

“ - she doesn’t  _need to know_ anything, Jake, she’s a criminal - “

“ _Pshaw_ , it’s some classy art theft,” Jake justifies to Amy, who scoffs. “I had a very brief and tiny crush on Santiago, and Amy here was overwhelmingly and embarrassingly in love with me.”

“Why do you keep saying  _love_? I never said  _love_!” Amy rebukes, her voice ramping up in annoyance. There’s a little part of Jake that loves relishing in getting Amy worked up like this. (It is not because he dreams of one day riling her up like that in bed.  _It’s not._ )

“What happened then?” The perp asks, seeming to be genuinely interested in the progression of their relationship. Who needs a therapist when you have nosy perps?

Jake indulges her. “Well, I dated a hot defense attorney, and she dated the human equivalent of a pilsner, the most boring drink invented. Which he also happened to be obsessed with.”

“ _Teddy_ is an accomplished detective, Peralta.” Amy hisses. “And, well, slightly too into pilsners. Let him live.”

The perp clears her throat to interrupt. “Well, both of you guys are single now, right?”

Jake nods, stealing a glance at Amy who is studying a piece of lint on her pantsuit intently. He wonders if he’s pushed the joke too far, hoping Amy isn’t truly annoyed. He just wanted to make her laugh.

The perp, on the other hand, hasn’t stopped her line of questioning. “Well, why aren’t you dating right now, then?” At this, Jake falls immediately silent. He really doesn’t have an answer to that, and he’s thought about it quite a lot. He’s aware that if he doesn’t use humor as a defense mechanism  _right about now_ , it is going to get  _incredibly_  awkward in this car. But for some reason, he can’t think of a single word in the English language.

Luckily, Amy decides to settle the moment with, “I hate you, Jake.”

“No, you irrevocably and impossibly love me, remember?” Jake goads. He sees a tiny smile forming and feels a sense of relief, knowing she isn’t truly irritated with him.

“Are you sure it’s not the other way around?” Amy rebuts, and Jake is open-mouthed and gapes for a second too long. He doesn’t quite know  _what_  he feels, not really, is the thing. He might take a distinct pleasure in annoying his partner, but the jokes weren’t exactly so far off from describing the real tension that was understated between them now. Sophia broke up with him, and it hurt. It hurt not being worth the trouble; still, he’s endured the worst of it and better off. But putting his heart on the line for Amy Santiago and getting rejected again? He doesn’t think he could survive that. By the time he is able to break out of his reverie, it’s almost impossible to recover now that Amy has noticed his speechlessness and giggles in response.  _It’s so fucking cute_. “Ha ha. I got Jake Peralta to shut up.”

For the life of him, Jake still can’t find the words. The perp seems to slide back into her seat, satisfied with whatever emotional turmoil she’s instilled in the pair of cops that arrested her. They travel the rest of the way in silence as the traffic begins to break up. Amy can’t woo the smug look off of her face, sneaking glances at Jake who can’t seem to lose the pink in his cheeks.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hello! hope you liked it :) leave comments or kudos or whatever; please let me know what you think. I would be Eternally grateful. 
> 
> much love. x 
> 
> remember to catch me on tumblr @poignanced


	3. case #786-A03: Peralta and Santiago-Peralta Go Undercover As Siblings

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hi everyone! finally a new chapter popped into my head with a request from an anon on my tumblr (@poignanced)! this is for you, anon! hope you enjoy xx hope everyone who reads this enjoys! i wasn't exactly super happy about my proofreading on this, but I wanted to post it, so I might go back and edit! let me know if there's anything glaringly OOC that you didn't like or any plot holes! 
> 
> (also, I don't really know how these cases even work, so... if you have any corrections about the case I wrote, send me them here or on tumblr!!)

“So, this is a pretty bad dude.” Amy starts, stopping Jake before they enter the scene. “He runs this casino, and according to the CI, he lurks here every single night. And the casino is run perfectly to a T to use as a backroom money laundering front. And all we need to do is find the names of his customers, who are some of the biggest collars, and we'll get the major arrests.”

“Believe it or not, I did read the case,” Jake reminds her. “Don’t worry about this. We’ll be fine. We’ve worked tons of cases before. Plus, the CI also mentioned Grayson can be a show-off and is a sucker for pretty girls. You’re a pretty girl! Arguably, the _prettiest_ of girls! And him being a show-off means he’ll show us his books if we just prod him a little bit.”

“It’s just been the first case I’ve worked undercover in a while,” Amy admits. “I’m just a _little_ jittery.”

“You’ll be fine, Ames. _Of_ _course_ , you’ll be fine. You’re Amy _freaking_ Santiago,” Jake emphasizes, squeezing Amy’s shoulder.

“Thanks, babe,” Amy says, giving him a small smile as Jake tracks the dissipating anxiety in her eyes.

“I just don’t get why we have to go undercover as siblings,” Jake whines. “We could’ve easily gone as a married couple. We’re literally _married_.”

“Yeah, well, Captain calls all the shots,” Amy notes.

“ _You’re_ the Captain!” Jake exclaims.

“Yeah, well,” Amy says, pursing her lips and grinning devilishly. Jake kind of wants to marry her all over again. “I heard you like bets.”

“Don’t know where you heard that from,” Jake deadpans. “I didn’t make a game-changing bet that quite literally led to me falling in love with my wife or anything.”

Amy rolls her eyes.

“Okay, well, what’s the play here?” Jake says, his voice dipping and his eyes twinkling. He loves games, especially if they’re with his wife.

“I was thinking…” Amy says, her smile full of mirth, glowing at the possibility of mischief. Her stance is already competitive, and everything about her says, _I’m about to eat you for breakfast._ It turns Jake on a little bit. “We play brother-sister from now until the end of the day. First one to blow our cover loses — and has to cook dinner for the next two weeks.”

“Amy… me winning would mean food poisoning for all of us.” Jake says, gently. “Don’t do this to us.”

“Ugh, fine,” Amy says, petulantly. She’s been adamantly trying to push the agenda that both she and Jake are adequate cooks to their daughter Mia. Mia is not buying it. “What do you suggest then?”

“Dish duty for two weeks?” Jake shrugs, noncommittally. 

“Is it lame that all of our bets now are just about household chores?” Amy asks with a frown.

“Eh,” Jake contemplates. “Okay… how about… the loser doesn’t get to watch Mia hear the end of the _Half-Blood Prince?”_

 _“_ Oh my god, Jake, that is pure evil,” Amy says, terrified, her eyes widening and eyebrows furrowing. She grabs Jake’s shoulders, shaking him manically. Jake almost feels a bit dizzy from the vigor with which she grips him. “I _need_ to watch my daughter react to Dumbledore’s death. I _need to_ , Jake!”

“Afraid of losing?” Jake teases, waggling his eyebrows. “We can call it off right now and slip our wedding rings on and go undercover as spouses, like we would do if we were normal.”

“No!” Amy shouts, immediately. Jake gives her his classic confused-but-in-love look. He’s just gonna have to live with the fact that his wife would much rather they play pretend-siblings to win a bet than be normal. It’s really part of the reason he loves her.

“Well, then, bet’s on. High stakes.” Jake says. They both shake hands, Amy’s grip firm and quivering at the same time. Her glare is straight-up menacing. Mean is a good look on her. 

Once the bet is shaken on, Jake and Amy enter the casino with purpose and the joint stride of two people who are decidedly blood-related and not at all romantically intertwined. It makes Jake remember those days when he had to pretend he wasn’t batshit in love with this woman; it’s a weird and not entirely welcome throwback.

The casino is low-lit and shady, and Jake fits right in with his snug (wedding) tux. The place is abuzz, with men and women dressed to the nines playing each slot machine or poker game loudly and uproariously. He imagines that this would be what a casino in the 1920s would look like, except with a lot more indoors smoking. For the sake of Amy who quit cigarettes for Mia seven years ago, he’s glad ‘no smoking’ laws apply.

“Ugh, Amy, we don’t even _look_ like siblings. How are we supposed to keep this up?” Jake complains through the side of his mouth as they settle behind a pillar and survey the scene around them. “We are literally of different races.”

“There is such a thing as _step-_ siblings,” Amy grumbles.

Jake’s eyes widen. “Oh my god, Ames, what if we’re real-life siblings?” Jake shrieks, gesticulating wildly. He thinks about Roger and all of the sperm he’s spread over the years. Who's to say he hadn't seduced Camila in the past? Gross!

“Jake,” Amy says in a low tone. “You’re spiraling.”

“Right, right,” Jake says, calming himself down. “Two detectives on a case right now.”

“Okay, so you’re John Santos, kingpin of an up-and-coming Cuban mafia, and I’m Carolina Santos, your sister, and your right-hand-man. I told the CI to create some chatter in the streets about the Santos family, so hopefully, the word has already reached Grayson,” Amy reminds him of their disguises.

“Why don’t you just be the kingpin? You’re the primary _and_ the Captain,” Jake suggests. There was a point in which he hated being a secondary to Amy. Now, he's just glad to work a case with her at all. 

“Because, well, patriarchy,” Amy shrugs, annoyed.

“Right, right, the world sucks and women are unconsciously undermined and underestimated constantly, right. My bad.” Jake says, quickly and derisively, shaking his head.

“Jake, focus,” Amy says, but the corners of her mouth hint at a smile.

“Right. Case.” Jake recites. “Okay, so, I’m thinking. Your biological dad, the original kingpin of the Santos family was double-crossed and left for dead, and I, the step-son, inherit the title because your dad is, well, a misogynist, and also he wants me to _avenge him_ . And Carolina and John, we’re siblings with a love-hate relationship, sizzling chemistry… and we have a _Cruel Intentions_ thing going on?” Jake waggles his eyebrows.

“Jake…” Amy says, warily.

“Okay, fine, a _minor Cruel Intentions_ thing going on,” Jake amends.

“No, Jake,” Amy hisses. “Grayson’s coming over here right now. Pretend we’re talking about something.” Both of them straighten up immediately.

“Case case case case,” Jake rattles off, and Amy gives him a look. “What? I panicked!”

“Hello there,” Grayson walks up behind them abruptly. They both slowly turn around to reveal Robert Grayson. Jake can already tell he looks sleazy, wearing a double-breasted pinstripe suit with three thick gold chains that can be seen underneath his button-down. He’s even wearing Vulture-esque aviators indoors. Grayson takes them off as if he's watching a movie of himself and this part is in slow-motion. “You’re both new around here.” His eyes seem to survey both of them, but remain on Amy who is wearing the black low-cut dress Jake loves so much. Jake wants to shudder, but at the same time, he can’t blame the guy for lingering. Amy is _sexy_.

Oh no. He is  _not_ going to last. 

“Sorry,” Jake cuts in, but his tone doesn’t scream _sorry_ at all. “We were actually looking to introduce ourselves. The name’s John Santos, and this is Carolina Santos. We’re here on business.”

“You two make a cute couple,” Grayson says, gruffly, his face scrunching up in disgruntlement betraying the sentiment of his words.

“Thanksssss," Amy flicks her eyes towards Jake frantically and continues, "...but no thanks,” Amy improvises, quickly fixing her blunder. “We’re step-siblings.”

“Yeah, interracial marriage is a thing,” Jake adds, hopefully in a convincing way. Though he assumes that any two normal siblings would probably not respond immediately to a compliment about their coupledom with a “thanks but no thanks.” They’re quirky.

“Oh thank god,” Grayson heaves a heavy sigh in relief. Amy rolls her eyes at the dramatics. “You are much too pretty to be married to this loser,” Grayson remarks directly to Amy in what Jake assumes is meant to be in a secretive way. Amy uncomfortably laughs while Jake flinches. Cool. Cool cool. Cool cool cool cool cool cool. 

“I am _literally_ right here, but okay,” Jake mutters.

“My, my, darling, you’re _so_ gorgeous,” Grayson says, very quite obviously leering at Amy. He offers Amy his hand and then spins Amy around, giving her butt a long glance. “Such gorgeous curves.”  Jake follows Grayson's eyes and immediately wants to kick this guy in the balls. 

“Yeeees, my step-sister does have quite great curvature-things,” Jake remarks, his voice high-pitched and clearly betraying that he has no idea what he’s saying or doing. “But moving on. We would like to discuss a mutually beneficial business offer.” Jake pauses impactfully, hoping that’s enough of a bait. Turns out, it is.

“Excuse me?” Grayson splutters at first. “I’m sorry, you seem like good people, but I just don’t make deals with anyone. I have some high standards. Though, I wouldn’t mind taking you out on a date.” He winks suggestively at Amy. Jake chokes down bile, shooting Grayson a glare that he hopes comes off as brotherly protectiveness. Jealousy is not a good color on him, he knows, and neither is being super duper grossed out by his perp. And, well, he needs to win this bet. Seeing Mia witness Dumbledore’s death is a _huge_ milestone in his book. And also in Amy’s binder of Mia’s big milestones.

“Well, I don’t know about high standards,” Jake says, flippantly. “I’ve heard you haven’t had a shipment come through here for weeks.”

“And how would you know that?” Grayson says, narrowing his eyes. “You’re nothing but a tiny bug in the web of mob families. I doubt your business is worth anything to me.”

“Oh yeah?” Amy challenges him. “We know for a fact that the Salvatores have recently blacklisted you. There’s no way you can afford to turn away our deal right now.”

Grayson shakes his head, and his hand is moving towards his pocket. Jake is so hoping his perp is arrogant enough to keep his book on him.

He is. “Here’s a page of my transactions this past week. Trust me, I don’t need your business. But I sure would love to take you to dinner, my love,” Grayson purrs. Amy winces.

“NYPD, you’re under arrest. Hands up,” Jake shouts immediately, Amy and him pulling their guns out near simultaneously as if it was choreographed. His voice is victorious, resembling the tone of a five-year-old on Christmas morning. Or, well, like Jake on Christmas morning. “Also… THAT’S MY WIFE!”

“That makes this whole thing a whole lot more awkward, huh?” Grayson grumbles, putting his hands up.

“Yuh huh,” Jake seethes, as he cuffs Grayson perhaps a bit more vigorously than the situation calls for.

“No need to be so vicious,” Grayson adds. “Besides, you two are married siblings. I’m not exactly the grossest person here right now.”

“You’re a little slow, aren’t you?” Amy shakes her head.

“You’re not siblings?” Grayson asks, shocked.

“Yeah, she’s not too good-looking for this loser,” Jake brags. “Well, she kind of is, but we’re still married, so _hah_.” Amy giggles and uncharacteristically kisses him briefly on the lips on the job, but Jake puts his hand on the small of her back and pulls her in deeper for more. Normally, Amy would probably scoff and lecture him about professionalism, but he assumes Amy’s more than creeped out by the unwanted attention and needs a bit of a cleanse. He just missed being Amy’s husband. He feels Amy's mouth moving more and more intensely on his, her fighting him for dominance. He's afraid this is going to get a lot more graphic than he intended. 

“This is police brutality!” Grayson shouts, trying to cover his eyes but failing, because, well, he’s in cuffs for being a bad guy.

“Is making out in front of a perp police brutality?” Jake asks Amy facetiously.

“I’m gonna go with _no_.” Amy smirks, raising her eyebrow at the perp while cocking her hip.

“My hot wife-slash-boss just told me it’s not, soooooo,” Jake trials off, waggling his brows, and leans down again to kiss his wife again. Because he can.

And, well, if it makes the perp a little uncomfortable, then that’s just a bit of a perk.

Amy pulls away and grins victoriously. “Ha _ha_ , guess who isn’t seeing Mia cry when Snape casts the killing curse!”

“ _Nooooo_!” Jake moans loudly and with just the right amount of drama. And then he eyes Grayson, who is still shamelessly checking Amy out. “Worth it, though.”

“My god, you both are such weirdos,” A cuffed Grayson says as the both of them flank him, escorting him to the police van outside. “But man, you make a weirdly cute couple. Even though I was led to believe you were siblings a couple minutes ago... Also, I’m innocent.”

“You literally just gave us the proof to put you behind bars. Shut up, ya moron,” Amy finally snaps.

“Yeah, shut up, _ya_ _moron_!” Jake adds, victoriously. He looks over at Amy and their eyes meet in a brief, fleeting glance filled with amusement, comfort, and most of all, affection.

He missed this. He really did.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hello! thanks for reaching the bottom somehow. I hope you enjoyed this. if you did, let me know. If you didn't, let me know. once again, don't hesitate to reach out to me @poignanced on tumblr. 
> 
> much love,  
> anj xx

**Author's Note:**

> hello! this is my first ~official~ fic! welcome. please comment or leave kudos if you enjoyed my work! more to come. 
> 
> also, hit me up on tumblr @poignanced :)
> 
> much love. x


End file.
